Being transformed day by day

A letter not sent

Dear friend,

It has been around a month after that time since you have found out. That month was a painful and tiring month. Our expectations of each other were too high and so chaos was the result. We would fight and become friends again and get into each other's nerves again the next day.

Until we started not talking to each other. That was sort of planned and coincidental at the same time. I was glad we did give each other space because I was able to think more clearly and I was able to forgive your shortcomings.

And then we talked about it one tuesday morning, and I was so happy with the result because everything seemed to be all and well-you even accompanied me going home. I was glad because maybe, the clean slate thing is happening finally.

What bothers me though, is how you have been brushing me off lately. I really don't know if you still want space but I have a feeling that you really don't want to be a good friend anymore. *sigh* I wish it was easier. It would've been okay... if only you didn't matter that much to me. But you do, especially because of everything that we've been through. And if you're willing to throw that all away---I cannot stop you. Just don't leave me hanging, waiting, hoping that our friendship can still be saved.

Go find another close friend. Perhaps that person will match you more than I will, because we really clash. Honestly, it hurts me to see you sort of look for a replacement for me. I know I shouldn't, that I should be happy for you because you're finally finding friends that will keep you in a bubble of happiness and comfort you when you're sad and all that, and give you positive energy and so much encouragement.

Siguro I gave you that much negative energy noh? If you think I've got so much negative energy around me, then I'll stop being around you, I'll stop pestering you in all ways possible. I'll even find other close friends to be with, but none of them, can ever replace you.

Just don't leave me hanging. Don't keep brushing me off, not thinking that it will affect me, or I'll just get the hint one of these days. Because it hurts terribly. Maybe I shouldn't expect anymore, maybe I should just try to forget that we became close friends...

posted by aLotSkI @ 10:54 AM