Hurting
Dear Lord,
Sige fine, she "deserves" it. She's so much better in seeking You or something, she looks prettier, she's much more desirable, she's much more that material she kldbjkSAD:Cfsdkjbs sooo deserves it.
I'm so tired of hurting Lord.
Will You ever remember me? Will Your eyes be on me regarding this matter? Or will I keep on just longing and waiting and never have anything, anyone? I know Lord, You are faithful, but in this matter, it's soooo difficult for me to say "You are my portion, You are my lot."
Masakit na masakit ang puso ko Lord. I didn't want to like him, but here I am, admitting that I did---and I wanted to get out of this. He said He's just waiting for that time for You to give him the go signal for her again?AWSLNBKAFWSFGNLKERSLDF/ASJDFHDSKFL
I am again, just your mere instrument. I always am anyway. Instrument to keep his spirits up while waiting for her. Instrument to test her so she will depend on You.
And my heart just hurts so bad Lord. I said I don't want to get hurt in this area anymore, yet You keep allowing it. Maybe, it's also a consequence, letting myself believe that I can guard my heart and think I can think of him as just my best friend, my brother and nothing else.
Will You ever heal my heart? Will You ever restore it? I know, I get it. You're the only one that satisfies. But why is it that every time my heart is okay and content in You, something/someone comes along and I just end up getting hurt? I'm tired Lord. I'm tired of this cycle. I'm tired of these mistakes. I'm tired Lord.
Will You ever look to me with favor on this area? Lord, I do my best to look to You regarding this matter, I do my best to be intimate with You like all the other women, but Lord, where is Your favor? Why do You allow me to get through this pain?
And Lord, this one is the most painful, next to the one with 6 years ago.Or maybe even worse.
It seems I haven't learned my lesson, except I have learned to control my temper a bit. I know what the lesson is, ulit ulit lang talaga ako Lord. Tama na! Tama na po. Kuha ko na po. Tama na po talaga.
Ka-office ko pa siya, ka building. What's even more hurtful is once You give him the go signal, makakalimutan nanaman ako.
Please, please remember me o God. Tell me that You love me, remember me O Lord. I don't want to continue hurting anymore. Lord please.
posted by aLotSkI @ 8:50 PM
